Grace Henderson ’22 is a senior biology major.
“Ellijay is the apple capital of Georgia. Yes, the apple capital. Just the way that the soil is up there鈥擡llijay sits inside of a valley in between all the mountains, so it is really fertile ground. And even besides the apples, it鈥檚 a huge agricultural economy.听
Growing up in a small town in the middle of nowhere鈥攅veryone’s heard that story. But because听it鈥檚听such an听agriculturally听based economy, I spent a lot of time outside. I love听Ellijay听in the summer and in the fall time. I think that鈥檚 the best because听there’s听so many things that you can do听when听the听weather鈥檚听nice.听There’s听so many little swimming holes you can go to, trails to find,听hiking spots, random places to go sit at.听
The not-so-fun side of being in a small town, which we鈥檝e got to talk about, is that there鈥檚 not a lot of diversity at all. I can only think of two other Asian kids I went to high school with, and one girl was adopted from China. I didn鈥檛 really get to share in my own culture growing up, but that was okay鈥攂ecause I got to learn about my friends鈥� cultures. One of the best things about living in Ellijay was that there鈥檚 a large Mexican and Guatemalan population, and I got to grow up within those cultures. I got to learn so much鈥攑eople invited me to their little cousins鈥� birthday parties, and I went to so many听辩耻颈苍肠别补帽别谤补蝉.听So, while I didn鈥檛 get to work out my own stuff,听it鈥檚听such a blessing to me that I was able to learn about and grow up with that. And听now听that culture is a huge part of my life, too.
I managed to ‘work out my own stuff’ when I moved out of there. When I left Ellijay and came to 黑料社 is when I really started to thrive, I would say. My dad is half Vietnamese, and my mom is white. My dad was born in 1977鈥攖he Vietnam War didn鈥檛 end until ’75. It makes sense, then, that my b脿听苍峄檌 did not want to pass on her culture when she moved to the U.S.听
B脿听苍峄檌听means paternal grandmother in Vietnamese. It鈥檚 one of the five words I know.听She and my grandpa didn鈥檛听really听want themselves and their kids to听be听the most Vietnamese people in the world,听you know,听because we听had听just finished the war. I think that was part of the听reason that I don鈥檛 know much about my culture.听I feel like my dad doesn鈥檛 know that much听either. Like, yes, we have the听foods听at home, we celebrate certain holidays, but it wasn鈥檛 until I left Ellijay and moved to 黑料社 that I started to celebrate it听within听myself.听
My biggest fear鈥攏ot my biggest fear. My biggest fear is being trafficked. But my second biggest fear is that it鈥檚 gonna end with me. I don鈥檛 want all that culture to just end with me, because I don鈥檛 speak Vietnamese or whatever, and won鈥檛 want to pass it on to my kids. I鈥檓 really trying to do whatever I can to keep it within me. I wore my 谩o d脿i on my birthday鈥擨’m trying to build up my collection and pass on my older ones to my sisters. I just bought this little pink one that I found at the thrift store that was too small for me, so I gave it to my little sisters. Last February, I celebrated Lunar New Year with my friends. We always used to do that before at my house, but not to a large degree鈥攂ut this time, I was like, we鈥檙e having dinner, we鈥檙e decorating the house, you鈥檙e wearing red鈥攁ll of that. I鈥檓 trying to show my family that this is me making an effort, so like, what are you going to do to respond to that?听
I’m the oldest of four girls.听And I am the most Vietnamese-looking within my whole family, even more than my dad.听They’re blond, dude鈥攖hey’re literally blond! My two sisters are blond with green eyes, and then Emma, she has dark hair like me, but it鈥檚 more of a chestnut brown. And she has really light eyes, too. People tell me all the time that the printer ran out of ink as it went down.听
You would never think that my sisters were any type of anything. I feel like they never really had to look at themselves as Vietnamese; I know that they know it and that they share in it at home, but for me, people always kind of knew. People tell me this all the time: ‘I don鈥檛 know what you are, but I know that you aren鈥檛 white.’ No one鈥檚 probably gone up to my sisters in their entire lives and been like, ‘What are you?’ or, ‘Don鈥檛 take this the wrong way, but…’ or, ‘Oh, I thought you were Hispanic’. And so being the oldest sister, on top of looking the most Vietnamese鈥擨 feel like the whole weight of the family is on my shoulders. And I could just be making this all up in my head. It’s just that they鈥檝e never had to think about this at all, I think, because we just don鈥檛 look the same.听
I have this really cool dragon tattooed in red that wraps around my arm. I got it for two reasons. One, it looks badass. Two, I have this really early memory鈥攚hich now that I’ve learned about memory from my science classes, I realize that it鈥檚 probably fake, but anyway鈥攖his very specific memory of being at my b脿听苍峄檌鈥檚 house, and she used to have those little Chinese calendars all over her house. They showed the cycle of the Chinese New Year, and she told me that I was born in the year of the Dragon. And it goes into what I was talking about earlier. Growing up, I will say that I hated being Vietnamese. I wanted to be blond like my sisters. I wanted to have blond hair and blue eyes and be tan听like the other girls. And thank听God听I had the tan part down, and that part never went away. I wanted to look like the other girls I was going to school with鈥攅ven my features, my eye shape, my face shape. I didn鈥檛听feel pretty, and I didn鈥檛 want to share that I was Vietnamese with anyone else.
And it wasn鈥檛 until I came to 黑料社 that I really met so many different people that live all over the world, and I was in an environment where there were more than, like, two races. I remember going back after that first year, and telling my parents, ‘I have friends from the Bahamas! I have a friend that just moved back to France!’ Or even just having friends that lived in different states within the U.S.听It was after being exposed to a diverse group of people that I really learned to love myself because听of the fact that I鈥檓 Vietnamese, and not in spite of it. And I鈥檝e learned to love my features. My tattoo is just kind of a nice reminder of that. And it鈥檚 badass.”听
